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ROFL With Rhys – Lame, Clean Youth Jokes

At Phat Camp 09 run by CCECYOUTH this year i had my own segment with juniors (year 7-9) called ROFL with Rhys. I thought I’d share the jokes with you, give you a giggle or could be handy for other youth groups to use.

You can download them in WORD 07 HERE, or read below.


knock knock
who’s there??
cow’s go…
cows go who
cows don’t go who they go moo

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Maida who?
Maida force be with you!

knock knock
whos there?
ididup who?
…eww you did a poo!

Lamest Jokes Ever:

Q: What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car?
A: Robin get in the car

Q: how do you stop a dog from barking in the front seat?
A: put him in the back seat

Q: What day is the hottest day of the week?
A: Friday

Q: What’s the difference between a teacher and a train?
A: A teacher makes you spit out your gum, but a train tells you to CHOO CHOO CHOO!

A chap is pondering where the sun comes from each day….when he gets up, there it is as if by magic. So, one day he gets up really early while it is still dark…..he walks to the end of the lane…no sun….he goes across the fields…no sun….he climbs up and up to the top of the highest hill he can find, pondering where oh where does the sun come from…and suddenly it dawns on him……….

Police arrested two kids yesterday; one was drinking battery
acid, and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let
the other one off.


Q: What goes round in circles on ur Kitchen floor?

A: A mouse on a motorbike

Q: How do you tell the mouse is in ur Fridge?

A: Motorbike parked outside

Q: Whats green and red and travels 100 mph?
A: A frog in a blender

Q: What goes “ooooo”
A: A cow with no lips


Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from KFC

Q: What are the similarities between a plum and an elephant?

A: They’re both purple except for the elephant

Q: What’s red and invisible?

A: No tomatoes.

Q:What did the apple say to the banana?
A: nothing, apples cant talk

Q: What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
A: Nacho Cheese.

Q: What happens when you walk into an apple tree?
A: You walk into an apple tree.

Q: Why did the jelly roll…

A: because it saw the apple turn-over

Two eggs in a pan, one says to the other, “phew it’s boiling in here”, the other replies “Forget that, when you get out someone’ll smash your head in”


Q. What do you call a man with a piece of wood on his head?
A. Ed Wood.
Q. What do you call a man with two pieces of wood on his head?
A. Edward Wood.
Q. What do you call a man with three pieces of wood on his head?
A. Edward Woodward.
Q. What do you call a man with four pieces of wood on his head?
A. I don’t know, but Edward Woodward would.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?

A: It was dead

Q: Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?

A: It was holding hands with the first monkey

Q: Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a game.

Q: Why did the elephant fall out of the tree?

A: It thought it was a monkey.

Q: Why did the lion die?

A: Three monkeys and an elephant fell on top of it.


Q: Why did the boy fail his maths test?
A: Because his mother threw a fridge at him

Q. What did the dog say to the kid pulling his tail?
A. That is the end of me!

Q: What is yellow and smells like red paint??
A: yellow paint

Q: Have you heard the vacuum joke
A: it sucks

Q: What’s big red and eats rocks?

A: A big red rock eater

Q: what do Jack the Ripper and winnie the poo have in common?
A: Their middles names.

Q: How many Cockroaches does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: No one knows, as soon as the light comes on they all scatter.

Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


Q: What did the number 0 say to the number 8?
A: Nice belt.

Q: Why was 6 scared?

A: Because 7 8 9

Q: What do you get if you divide the cirucmference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin Pi!

Q: Why do you rarely find mathematicians spending time at the beach?
A: Because they have sine and cosine to get a tan and don’t need the sun!

Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A high school math problem!

There are 10 kinds of mathematicians. Those who can think binarily and those who can’t…

  • very good with the lame jokes
    just read them out to mumm and found them quite hilarious
    keeep up the lame-o’s

    Laura Totonjian

    April 22, 2009

  • me n my buds luv the lame(no kidding) jokes but theres some we dont get….

    [email protected]

    November 7, 2009

  • really? which ones dont you get haha


    November 11, 2009

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